Four

Now, sign your name here, here and here.”

“I thought you were going to explain to me what is happening. I don’t want to sign anything before I know what’s going on.”

She sighed heavily. “Okay. I’ll try to make this as simple as possible, without the diagrams and charts that are included in the orientation packet. I don’t suppose there is any chance that you may have just set that envelope aside?”

“None whatsoever. I was going through a cleaning phase that day, I remember.” Though the way my kitchen looked now, no one would ever believe that I had cleaning phases. Truthfully, they are very few and far between. Usually when I’m angry at someone. I was feeling one coming on now, as a matter of fact. Fatima was looking as put out as I felt.

She sighed again. For such a small woman, she really did have a remarkably large air capacity. “Very well then. As I said: my name is Fatima, and I will be your Life Choice Guide for the next week of your life.”

“Okay. But can you tell me what , exactly, a ‘Life Choice’ guide is?” I was becoming increasingly frustrated, and my head had not stopped pounding. In fact, it was getting worse.

“A LCG, dear, is a spirit that will guide you through your Life options.”

“A spirit? Are you telling me you’re a ghost or something? And what life options? Why do I need a guide?”

“If you would silence yourself for a moment I might get through the explanation.” This she said through clenched teeth.

I felt a little chastised, but not too much. What right did a ghost, or possibly a figment of my imagination have to come into my kitchen and tell me to shut up? Seeing how the sound of my voice resonating in my head was doing nothing to relieve my headache, however, I decided to let her speak uninterrupted. I could always just walk out and go back to bed if she started sounding too loony. “Fine. Go on, I won’t interrupt any more.”

“Good. As I was saying, a LCG is a spirit – not a ghost, but a cosmic presence – that will guide you between your life options. Now, have you ever seen one of these before?” She snapped her fingers and a white book appeared in her hands which she presented it to me.

“It’s a Choose Your Own Adventure book. Sure, I used to read these all the time when I was a kid.”

“So you know how they work. A story begins, and you come to a crossroads – you have to decide which path you will take, which group you choose to align yourself with or which color shirt to wear in the morning. The decision you make, in these stories, ultimately determines the outcome, be it good or bad.”

By this point I’d already opened book and started reading it. It looked like it was about a young boy transported back to the days of King Arthur who had to save a princess from an evil warlord. I was just starting to get into the story when she cleared her throat.

“Now, if I could please get that back from you, I’ll return it to my attic.”

Oops. “Yeah, sure, sorry. Outcome; good or bad. Continue”

“Now the point of these adventure books is not su much the adventure as the choice. Through these novels, you get an idea of how making a choice can affect your entire future. Your own life is not unlike these novels. Decisions that you make ultimately determine the path that your life will take. Good or bad. Do you understand?”

“Yes. I am fully aware that decisions I make affect my life. That’s not all that shocking. Where do you come into this, though?”

“I’m getting to that. But first, I have a question for you. Do you believe that there is life outside of what you know?”

“You mean, like aliens? Big, scary green googly-eyed things?”

“In the general sense of the term, I guess alien would fit. Not the green googly-eyed things though. Life, just like yours, just not within the realm of your experience. Do you believe that the conditions that allow life to flourish on your planet exist here and only here? Or do you think that there is the chance that there are other places, similar places even, that you are not aware of?”

“Okay, I get you. Um. Sure, why not. The universe is a huge place. It does seem a bit arrogant to assume that we’re the only sentient beings enjoying it. You’ve lost me though, as far as how this relates to choices that I make.”

“You may not be able to fully grasp what I’m going to tell you know. Especially without the diagram, but take my word here – I am telling things the way they are and always have been. Every time you choose something, it sends you down a particular life path. Well, it turns out that for every thing you don’t choose, there is another existence somewhere in the universe where you do choose what you don’t choose here, thus sending that existence down a different path. You are the mirror images of each other – each choosing the thing that the other didn’t choose.”

She had completely lost me. “Alright, lady. That’s enough. I was willing to accept your little act here for a while, but I can’t take it anymore. Please replace my phone from wherever it has been ‘displaced’ and get your spiritual ass out of my kitchen.”

“Oh, dear. I was worried this might be your reaction. This was why we started sending out the orientation packets in the first place. Things got very messy sometimes. I remember once when Karmella almost got her head chopped off by an angry German soldier. But that is all beside the point. Here,” she snapped her fingers again, and the empty ice cream bowl in my hands was replaced by a steaming cup of tea “have some tea. It will help open your mind. It should ease that headache of yours a little, too.”

I wasn’t too thrilled to listen to more of this crazy woman’s ramblings, but the promise of a little ease in my headache was too much to resist. I leaned back in the chair and scowled at her as I gingerly took a sip of the tea, not wanting to burn my tongue. It was the perfect temperature, and as it hit my stomach, I did feel like my headache was dissipating some. And, perhaps she wasn’t entirely cracked.

“That should set you right in no time. Let me see if I can find a way to make you understand this a little better… It’s against protocol, but I think giving you a personal example will help. Remember this day?”

All of a sudden I was standing in my elementary school cafeteria, next to a group of giggling ten year olds and, of all people, my very first band instructor, Mr. Weaver. He called for the kids’ attention then went over the rules of band and how they would have to practice every day to become better. It sounded like the same speech I’d heard when I was ten.

After a glance at the kids to see if they were listening at all, I realized that this was the same speech. I saw my ten-year-old self lean over and whisper something into ten-year-old Sabrina’s ear and they both stifled giggles. I remember that I had just told her that Mr. Weaver looked like an evil Santa Claus.

I was so transfixed watching myself, that I didn’t notice the part of the speech where Mr. Weaver told us we were about to make an important decision: which instrument we were going to play. The kids proceeded to a table where there was a sign up sheet.

I was watching myself bend over, pencil in hand, about to write down my decision, when I felt the mug in my hands and I was back at my kitchen table.

“Yes! I remember that day. I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to play the flute or the clarinet. I chose clarinet, so that Sabrina and I could sit next to each other in band.”

“In this existence you chose the clarinet.”

“So… somewhere there is a version of me that chose the flute?”

“Exactly!”

“I don’t think that I really believe you.”

“Okay, then. I’ll show you.”

Again, I found myself out of my kitchen, but this time I didn’t recognize where I was. It looked like I was in a dark auditorium with a large audience. Then the lights on stage went on, and a man in a tuxedo walked onto the stage, accompanied by gracious applause from the audience around me. The man walked to the podium, picked up his wand, and the orchestra in front of him burst into sound.

Above the violins, I could hear the clear sound of a flute playing an airy melody that made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. I looked to see who was making such a beautiful sound, and practically fell out of the seat I was in when I realized that it was me. Me with a better haircut, even.

Too soon the song ended, and I was back in my kitchen again.

“Are you telling me, that if I’d chosen the flute on that day, that I would have been a professional flutist??” I was dumbfounded.

“Not necessarily. Some of the flute players are dead, but I didn’t think sending you to one of your graves would have had quite the same effect.”

“Dead! What happened to me?”

“Well, unfortunately, several years after you chose the flute, you were sent to a summer music camp, where you were offered drugs. The existence that chose to accept the drugs ended up living a very difficult life.”

I didn’t know what to say. “What about fate? Where does fate fit into this? How can certain versions of me be dead for goodness’ sake?”

“I thought you would have seen that by now, dear. There is no such thing as fate. At least, not in the global sense that you mean. The outcome of your life, or the fate, if you will, is determined by the decisions that you make.”

“So last night, when I chose to have a rum and coke instead of a whiskey sour… does that mean that the existence that had the whiskey sour is going to go and drive my car off a cliff or something?”

“Possibly. Or it could just mean that you had a different after taste in her mouth for a while. Not all decisions are monumental.”

My headache was actually gone by this point. I’d have to remember to ask her where she got this tea so that I could have some ready for the next time I drank too much. Headache or no, though, I was still having a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that somewhere in the universe I was a virtuoso flutist. Or dead.

“Why am I not aware of these other versions of me? It seems like I should be able to feel them somehow.”

“What do you think dreams are, dear?”

“Wow. Wow. This is just crazy. Are you absolutely certain that I am not tripping on some new designer drug?”

She actually chuckled. “Not in this existence. So, I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m telling you all of this.”

“Now that you mention it, yeah. Why are you telling me this?”

“Because, you, my dear, get to have the unique opportunity to choose which existence your consciousness will reside in.” She sat looking very proud of herself, almost as if she was waiting for applause.

I would have been glad to applaud her, but I had absolutely no idea what she meant. “What?”

“You have the opportunity to see what happens after you make a decision, and if you are displeased, you can go back and make a different choice.”

“Then I choose the flute!”

She shook her head. “No, no, no. I guess I wasn’t specific enough. For the next week, and only one week, any decision you make is mutable. You will be able to see what happens after you choose one thing, and if you would like, you can see what happens if you choose the other thing. You’ll have the ability to jump from one existence to another. But only existences that are spawned from decisions that you make this week.”

“When does the week start?”

“As soon as you sign your name to these papers.” She indicated the stack of papers in front of her.

“Are all of my… are all of the me’s out there getting this same chance?”

“No, just you.”

“Well, why me?”

“We flipped a coin.”

I pictured a group of cosmic beings sitting around flipping coins to see whose life they’d get to mess around with that week. “And… why this week? Is there something special about this week?”

“Well, whether it is special or not is up to you, isn’t it? Now, the rest of it is all explained in the guidebook. Let’s get through this paperwork. I have an appointment at ten.”

She pushed the stack of papers in front of me, and handed me a purple pen. “Now, if you’ll just sign here and initial here, that shows that you have been fully trained in the rules.”

“Have I?” I asked as I placed my initials on the correct line.

“More or less. As I said, it is all in the guidebook, should you have any questions. Initial here – that indicates that you got the bracelet and all ten charms.”

I looked at the bracelet that I’d absent-mindedly put on my wrist. “All ten charms? What are the charms for?”

“Oh, dear, I did forget to mention that, didn’t I. You only get ten chances to change your mind. We used to let people have an unlimited amount, but they ended up getting stuck in one week of their life, never progressing any further than that. Ten sounded like a nice round number.”

I was slightly disappointed that I’d only have ten shots. With an unlimited number, I feel like I could have figured out how to make my life perfect. I begrudgingly signed my name to the Bracelet Acceptance Form.

“Is there anything else important that you’ve neglected to tell me?” I was a bit worried, after all.

“Let’s see. We’ve gone over the one week limit, the ten charms limit, the age cut-off…”

“Age cut-off? What was that? We didn’t talk about that one!”

“Goodness. I would forget my head, after all, wouldn’t I? The age cut-off. The offer expires, and the charms will lose power on your fiftieth birthday.”

This actually surprised me. I’d assumed that I’d only have the one week to change things. “So, ten years from now, I can decide that I want to wear a different shirt to work on Tuesday?”

“Yes. But you lose the power to choose on your fiftieth birthday. It’s perfectly simple.”

I was starting to get excited, even though part of me still doubted the veracity of this whole situation. I still half expected to wake up with memories of an unbelievable dream. Might as well enjoy it while I could. “What are the other things to sign?”

“This one is a Liability Waiver. Should you come to any harm during, or as a result of, the decisions you make this week, you cannot hold us to blame in any way.”

“Who are you working for anyway?”

“Oh, no one you know.” She flipped to the next page. “And this is the one to indicate that you’ve received and read the guidebook. Obviously you haven’t read it yet, but you will be expected to read it in full as soon as you can. And, lastly, this form is the Vow of Silence. If you tell anyone about me, the charm bracelet, or the existence of other existences, you will be immediately stricken deaf and dumb.”

“I can’t tell anyone?” There went my plan to call Sabrina as soon as I was alone. “Not even if I know that they won’t believe me?”

“No one.”

As I finished signing the Vow of Silence, the bracelet on my wrist suddenly started humming and glowing.

“There you go, honey. The charms are activated. Now, I must be going. Good luck, and don’t forget to make wise decisions!”

“Wait!” She was already starting to fade away. “How do I work this thing? How do I get in touch with you? What if I make the wrong choice?”

“It’s all in the book. Trust yourself. All will turn out well if you believe in yourself and have faith in your decisions.” With that, she was gone.

Have faith in my decisions? I thought that this whole experience was about changing your decisions. How was I supposed to have faith in something if I was about to completely change it?

My headache rushed back with a vengeance. I definitely needed to get more sleep. I staggered back to my bedroom and into my bed, which was still warm. The whole interaction with Fatima had taken no more than ten minutes, but I felt that it was about to change the course of my entire life.
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